Tired of Speed-dating Managers

Question:

I’m starting to feel like I’m speed-dating managers. I’ve had five managers in four years, and every one of them turned out to be unethical, cruel or asleep at the wheel. I don’t want to keep job-hopping, I just want one emotionally stable manager who won’t derail my career and life.  

As an applicant, I scan job sites, fill out employment applications, and answer deeply personal questions. When do I have a chance to turn the tables and vet the managers who’ll control my workload, schedule and performance reviews?

In an election year, I compare candidates, dig through websites, and fact-check debates in real time. But when it comes to choosing a boss—the person with the power to vaporize my PTO or tank my annual review—there’s no simple, trustworthy way to evaluate a future boss. What’s the ethical way to get the real story?

I once tried calling employees after an interview to ask what the boss was like. A week later when I checked back, the receptionist told me I “ticked the manager off.” This seems unfair—employers run reference-checks on job applicants all the time. Should I have asked for confidentiality, or is there a smarter, legal, non-creepy way to investigate a potential boss?

Answer:

Here’s how to sleuth out a good manager.

Watch the hiring dance closely.

The interview itself is your first data point. Does the manager handle the interview like it matters—asking real questions, listening, and responding thoughtfully? Do they let you meet potential coworkers? They’re showing you their leadership style in action.

How a company treats you during the interview often shows how they treat everyone else. A rushed, sloppy, disorganized interview often reflects what it’s like behind the curtain.

Scour modern review sites — but sift carefully.

These days almost every job-seeker starts with a quick search. According to a 2025 report, roughly 86 % of candidates research employer reviews online before accepting a job, https://www.potis.ai/blog/analyze-glassdoor-jobs-2025#:~:text=In%202025%2C%20the%20landscape%20of,is%20not%20without%20its%20complexities.

            Seven sites worth your time include:

Indeed offers the widest database of reviews from current and former employees in its Company Reviews section. Employees rate their companies on culture, management and work-life balance.

LinkedIn’s company pages include employee posts, comment threads and their “people” tab can reveal workplace patterns including turnover spikes and leadership shakeups.

Glassdoor provide reviews from current and former employees concerning their managers and workplaces—though because employers can sleuth out the identities of the reviewers, the recent reviews tend to be cautious.  

Comparably focuses on company culture, leadership and compensation.

Fairygodboss and InHerSight provide detailed information on employers’ work-life balance and workplace culture.  

Blind offers a community-powered forum where current and former employees anonymously and bluntly describe what it’s really like working for their companies. If something is rotten in management, Blind users usually mention it.

The key: look for patterns, not one-off rants. If employees repeatedly mention high turnover, micromanagement or meetings that feel like hostage situations, pay attention.

Professionally reach out to current employees

You can talk to employees but do it like a normal human, not an undercover detective. Keep it light and casual, with questions such as “What’s the vibe like around here?”; “What do people appreciate most about the manager?”, and “What surprised when you first started?”  

Be transparent that you’re job-hunting, would appreciate honest feedback, and will keep anything you learn confidential.

Avoid, however, wandering the hallways after an interview or cornering an employee in the breakroom.

Combine what you see, hear and feel

No site, conversation or coffee-chat gives full clarity. But clusters of signals—high turnover, chaotic interview processes, poor online reviews, strained employees with “send help” eyes—paint a pretty accurate picture. The reverse is also true: when employees light up talking about their manager, jobs or employers, believe them.

If you approach your next job search with the curiosity of a journalist and the tact of a seasoned professional, you’ll gather the intel you need. Respectful questions and ethical sleuthing won’t guarantee a perfect boss, but they dramatically reduce the odds of another plot twist in your employment history.

© 2025 Lynne Curry, PhD, SPHR, SHRM-SCP