When someone treats you poorly, do you address it? Or do you hesitate, fearing that if you bring the situation up, worried you might make things worse?
For many, biting one’s tongue seems wiser, safer.
If you’re someone who chooses the certainty of silence over the risk of speaking out, consider where that path leads you.
It doesn’t give you what you need…
Avoiding conflict provides only temporary relief. It fixes nothing.
The conflict festers.
It’s as if you set a package of rancid chicken back in the fridge, hoping the chicken would improve with time.
You become the problem
When you bite your tongue and choke your feelings down, they often bubble up to the surface. Instead of talking things out, you act them out, sending out an unhappy vibe.
The smoldering conflict flares
Unresolved conflict acts like tinder, ready to ignite into a messy explosion when you least expect it.
You disappoint yourself…and let yourself down
The realization you haven’t faced the problem situation or stuck up for yourself hangs over you like a dark cloud.
You pay a high price for avoiding conflict. Worse, you don’t develop your conflict resolution muscles. They become flabby. When you really need them, you won’t be able to pull them into action.
If there’s an issue important to you, bring it up. Bite-your-tongue-silence costs when you have something you truly want and need to say. Don’t pay the price.
I’ve finished writing Managing for Accountability: A Business Leader’s Toolbox (43,400 words, to be published by Business Expert Press, August 2021) and have started writing Conflict Fixes: Tools for Handling Tough, Touchy Situations and Conversations. I’d love to hear from you what topics you want addressed in this upcoming book.
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