When Business Trips Go Off the Rails

Question:

I run a fast-growing venture development company and rely on a team of driven, type-A managers to overhaul our new acquisitions. They’re sharp, competitive, and accustomed to working in tight-knit groups. On business trips, they often dine together and continue strategic conversations over meals.

I’ve recently learned one of the managers, despite being married, brings women he meets on the flights to dinners with the team. One of his colleagues brought this up to me after requesting confidentiality. He said at least one other colleague has voiced concerns.

Apparently, the manager brushed the concerns off, saying scheduling his dates after dinner wouldn’t look right, and that everyone needed to lighten up..

The man who confided in me also let me know he and several others know the manager regularly invites Tinder dates into his hotel room for the night. “He brags about it the next morning.”

How exactly should I handle this?

Answer:

When you put high-octane personalities on the road, you’re betting on more than skill—you’re banking on their judgment. Business travel blends the personal and the professional, creating a grey zone where semi-social time is still work time, and the unspoken rules of culture matter.

The manager who brings dates into dinner-hour working sessions creates hard choices for his teammates. Do they talk shop in front of a stranger? Do they water down the conversation and make small talk with individuals they didn’t invite and won’t see again?

When the manager shuts down his colleague’s concerns by saying light up, he’s saying, “Your discomfort doesn’t matter. My behavior stands.” That’s a classic power move.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the hotel room and what’s at stake here. You’re dealing with the blurred boundary between personal freedom and professional responsibility. That manager does have a right to his private life, including what he does after hours—but not at the cost of team effectiveness. If his colleagues feel uncomfortable, disrespected, or unsure about how to act in this manager’s presence, trust, respect and team chemistry erode. success.

            Here’s how to get ahead of this problem:

Do a temperature check.

Speak with each team member individually. Ask how travel norms are impacting their ability to collaborate. You’re not looking to shame anyone—you’re looking to understand how the current setup either supports or distracts from performance.

Reinforce your travel policy.

If you don’t have a travel policy that covers behavior during company-sponsored trips, create one. Clarify what’s expected at group meals, how personal guests should be handled, and what professionalism looks like outside the office.

Address the manager directly.

            Keep this discussion focused on outcomes, not morality. Stay neutral in tone—you’re not managing his private life. Make the impact clear: “Here’s how your choices affected your team’s ability to work.” Don’t water it down. You need to address behavior that disrupts team dynamics or undermines trust.

Model leadership expectations.

This manager represents your company on the road. If everyone behaved the way he did, would you be okay with it? If the answer’s no, then clarify what leadership looks like and that it includes setting the tone, not rewriting the rules.

Being a hard-charging, charismatic, high-producing manager doesn’t exempt him from respecting norms. In fact, leaders should embody them. If a top performer refuses to collaborate or brushes off concerns, you’ve got a different kind of problem: ego over team.

The bottom line—this has to do with professionalism. Left unchecked, this kind of friction doesn’t stay “on the road,” it follows your team back to the office. It creates culture, and culture, once cracked, doesn’t fix itself.

© 2025 Lynne Curry, PhD, SPHR, SHRM-SCP