Undermining Employee: Step In to Step Out

Question:

On the surface, two of my employees, “Veronica” and “Katie,” are friends. They go to lunch together every day and frequently visit each other’s cubicles.

Behind the scenes, Veronica undermines Katie. She regularly comes into my office and tells me she has to help Katie with routine job tasks. She “fills me in” on situations Katie doesn’t handle well. Two days ago, she told me a customer called in complaining Katie had been rude and hadn’t filled an order in a timely manner. Veronica said she filled the order herself and added that the customer said it was the best service he’d ever had from our company.

I told her “thank you,” but didn’t address the real issue. I should have told her this type of low-level backbiting bothered me. I just didn’t want to take the time.

The situation escalated today. Veronica asked to meet with me and suggested she be named Katie’s supervisor and given a commensurate increase in pay. When I asked her how Katie would react to that, she answered rather smugly, “I can make her like it.”

In hindsight, I realize Veronica believes she’s laid the groundwork for my naming her Katie’s supervisor. I don’t, however, consider Veronica supervisor material, as she often shares minor complaints about other employees with me, but I don’t believe she tells them directly what she shares with me. She also doesn’t realize Katie complains regularly about Veronica’s “bossiness.”

The truth: Veronica and Katie both have strengths and weaknesses. I don’t want to lose either as they have hard to replace historical knowledge. If I had to hire new employees to fill their positions, the replacement employees would have a steep learning curve. How do I get these two to handle small issues without involving me as their jury?

Answer:

When you as a manager don’t “have time” to deal with small problems, they grow. If you want this fixed, you need to change.

Here’s what you’ve told me: You’ve allowed employee sibling rivalry where worker “a” undermines worker “b” who accuses “a” of bossiness. Although you thought to tell “a” you didn’t like backbiting, you didn’t tell her this directly—even though you don’t consider her supervisor material as she doesn’t directly address her complaints to the person about whom she holds them.

You’re not alone in this. Many organizations give lip service to the “if you have a problem with someone else, raise it with that person first” code of conduct. In reality, those who have issues with others often avoid raising them, fearing the risks confrontation might bring. As a result, managers that want employees to raise issues directly with other employees need to step in to the problem—so they can then step out of the triangle.

Here’s how. When Veronica tells you about Katie’s problems, ask if she’s discussed them with Katie. If she has, ask her to tell you about those discussions. Does she coach Katie, or move into critique mode, or take over Katie’s tasks?   

Next, check in with Katie, and find out if she struggles with tasks. If she tells you Veronica bosses her, ask, “about what?” 

Once you’ve got a handle on the actual problem, work to fix it. If Katie needs additional training, arrange it. You definitely don’t want customers treated rudely or to receive orders late. You also don’t want one employee making points with a customer at another employee’s or the company’s expense.

When you dig further into this, you may discover Katie and Veronica present radically different perspectives on the situation. If so, bring both together and work with them to talk things through by asking them to answer four questions.

1. What do you most appreciate or value about the other employee?
2. What do you wish the other would do differently?
3. How do you offer to change to make things better?
4. What do you hope the other employee agrees to do?

Then, give Veronica and Katie your perspective—right now, they’re running to you with their thoughts rather than bringing them up to each other. Let them know you respect both of them as employees. Ask if they’ll commit to working things out directly with each other in the future. Let them know they can always come to you if they need a manager’s input—but not without first talking with the other employee.   Finally, you need to be direct with Veronica if you don’t intend to promote her into a supervisory role. You can, however, soften the blow by letting her know what she needs to change to become someone you’d consider a viable supervisor candidate.

(c) 2024 Lynne Curry

If you found this article useful, you’ll find detailed strategies for raising difficult topics and handling conflict with employees and colleagues in Navigating Conflict https://amzn.to/3rCKoWj and Solutions: 411: Workplace Answers; 911: Revelations for Workplace Challenges and Firefights, https://bit.ly/3FcApi9, as well as in the other articles in the conflict section of this blog.