The hour I spent with the twenty-six-year-old having job troubles felt like ten hours. “Jack’s” dad had asked me to talk with his son as a favor. “He can’t find the right job. He’s had a run of bad luck. Can you help him? Please?”
Jack explained he’d been laid off from his first job during the pandemic, got caught up in the hiring frenzy that came after, but then never found the “right job.” He’d had four. “You just can’t trust a boss,” he said. He told me how each of his boss’s had lied to him, had made promises but never kept them.
Jack had a new job, but didn’t plan to go the extra mile in it, because “why bother?” When I asked him if some of his colleagues worked hard, he said, “The ones who do burn out.”
Jack had also given up forming friendships with coworkers. When I asked why, he said that they said one thing to him in private but sang a different tune when talking to their boss. Besides, he said, “Half of them will be gone within the year, to new jobs.”
“So, you don’t want to believe in a boss’s lies. You don’t want to form coworker friendships because they’ll leave. You don’t want to give your all at work and burn yourself out. Is that an accurate summary?” I asked.
After Jack told me yes, he sat back, looking smug. He felt he’d transferred his problem to me and asked, “So what’s what the magic bullet?”
But the problem wasn’t mine to fix; it was Jack’s. For whatever reason, maybe bad management or perhaps his own unwillingness to give new situations and people a chance, Jack had mired himself in cynicism. So have an astounding number of employees. According to Gallup’s 2024 State of the Global Workplace, 48% of current employees qualify as somewhat cynical, https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace.aspx?thank-you-report-form=1. The picture others see when they view these employees includes “demotivation, pessimism, giving up, disengagement, indifference, hopelessness, anger, numbness, underperformance, feeling stuck, or a loss of trust.” Further, “employees in the grip of cynicism have less trust in their colleagues, leaders, and organizations, poorer job performance, lower earning power, and higher rates of turnover. As cynicism develops, people shift from trying to do their very best to doing the bare minimum.” https://hbr.org/2023/05/has-cynicism-infected-your-organization.
The toll on individuals who allow cynicism to take root can be devastating. Actions that might bring energy and new hope seem fruitless to the cynic, and the cynic sinks further into negativity. If cynicism was a pill, no one would swallow it, knowing it was poison. But Jack had. So, I told him what he already knew and asked him a question. “You don’t try to make things better, because then you won’t feel bad when your efforts don’t succeed. You’ve decided it’s easier to give up than to try. That keeps you from losing. What do you win?”
He didn’t have an answer. The truth? Cynics don’t win. According to research, “cynics earn less money, report lower job satisfaction, and are less likely to be elevated to leadership positions.” https://hbr.org/2024/08/why-cynics-are-less-likely-to-succeed/.
I told Jack he had a choice. He didn’t have to believe in others. He needed to restore his belief in himself. “If working for someone else isn’t working for you, work for yourself. Start your own business. Don’t you have a dream of something you want to accomplish? Or do you want to keep doing the bare minimum, which won’t work for your employer, and won’t work for you either?”
My ‘this is on you’ message got through to Jack. He started an online business where he answers to himself.
Here’s the truth. Cynicism is toxic. If you’ve fallen into cynicism, kick it to the curb.
© 2024 Lynne Curry, PhD, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
Having been in the positions of employer, employee, and foreman, I’ve noticed that having one or two upbeat/optimistic employees becomes “contagious” and frequently “spreads” throughout the workforce. Unfortunately, the converse is also able to spread its negativity and needs to be dealt with quickly.
I have lived the exact opposite life that Jack lives. Today was a GREAT DAY, and tomorrow WILL BE BETTER. I just know.
When asked “How are you doing?” my response invariably is “Awesome!” Or better.
Living with a “Positive Mental Altitude” (yes, altitude!) has me “High on Life!” and it both shows and overflows onto others.
I often explain my ‘new car theory.’ If I pull into your driveway with a Nice New Car, I beam and say “Look at my nice new car!” and preen on it. And you probably smile, and preen on it with me. But if I pull into your yard in a barely running junker, you’ll probably join me in kicking at the tires. And I don’t want anybody kicking my tires! Ergo, I’ll ALWAYS be driving my ‘Nice New Car/Positive Mental Altitude’ when we meet. I’ll bring you UP to my level because the alternative – going down to your level – is not in my plans.
It works for me. And most of those around me tend to support that.
Dan’s reply says it all. It’s a matter of attitude. Find the positive and run with it. Try to make some opportunities or some good outcomes from it. That’s what makes it a good day, good tomorrow, good job.
Jack doesn’t actually WANT to work. He’d just rather find all the holes and all the worms in the apple. Engagement and satisfaction, in part, are where you look. There always are bosses who don’t fully tell the truth, coworkers who aren’t really interested in you [are you really interested in them?], promises that fall short. Doing a job, getting to know the organization and the business/industry/sector, getting involved in the changes the organization makes or is experiencing–these are all part of life. Not doing them, not feeling like they’re worth your effort, is cheating yourself as well as your coworkers and your organization. What else would you rather be doing? Looking for someone to entertain you or make you an offer? Mostly it doesn’t happen. Or it could be another one of those lies. Find something where you at least like the organization and most of the people who work there and like the service or product it offers. Then work at finding ways to make it fun, interesting, challenging, a place for you to learn and a place to learn from others. Figure out how to become that person who it’s fun to work with and who makes work fun. People like Jack who can’t get interested in anything also do not often have the chutzpah to start their own business and work at it as hard as you would have to to make a go of it. And they don’t have the stomach to deal with the many setbacks you may have to deal with before you find success.