When A Toxic Leader Destroys Your Organization: You Have 1 Chance

Question:

I left my job, one that was very important to me, and ultimately left the state, because I worked in a dysfunctional, toxic environment. I wasn’t the first senior professional to leave this workplace; others had before me. Like me, all of them were aware there was no comparable organization in Alaska, which meant departing the state if we wanted to remain in our chosen professions.

I am still recovering from what I and others suffered from working there, and from the knowledge that I left other good employees to deal with what I could not. I also knew that nothing I or others did could change anything. What maintains our bully executive director in power is the Board, who wholeheartedly support her, despite the many talented professionals who’ve left our organization.

I told the HR director in my exit interview that I was leaving because of the toxic environment. She’s one of those people who keep her head down because she doesn’t want it lopped off, so I knew I was wasting my breath. I know that a former employee wrote a letter to the Board Chair. That also went nowhere. The Executive Director has invested a great deal of time and effort to ensure the Board Chair hears only slanted information.

Here are my two questions. How can a Boards of Director not understand that bullies and other toxic leaders present different personalities to different groups of people? Is there anything I and other former employees can do to compel the board to seriously investigate our former organization’s culture?

Answer:

Yes. You can write each Board member a letter, letting them know you’re aware they have a fiduciary duty to their organization, and you have facts to bring to their attention. In your letter, provide them information more substantial than opinion or anecdotal information. As I wrote in chapter 23 of Beating the Workplace Bully https://amzn.to/3msclOW, you convince others when you present hard facts that lead others to draw the same conclusions you did. If you need to describe a subjective situation, describe it accurately and objectively.

Boards can change their minds, particularly if your letter convinces one Board member that it’s important to look into the situation. I know of one instance in which a Board gave their Executive Director an unconditional vote of confidence after receiving an employees’ petition making allegations against the ED. While the Board initially thought the allegations the result of disgruntled former and current employees, they decided to have a neutral person investigate. What they learned led them to realize the allegations’ truth.   

Next, many bullies do present two faces—one to those who might help them succeed or keep them in power, and one to those over whom they reign. Bullies choose who to bully, and often kiss upward and kick downward. In families, a bully parent may treat their spouse horribly and yet lavish praise and gifts on their children, whom they consider extensions of themselves. In the workplace, a bully may bully one person, yet treat others wonderfully. By charming those they don’t target, bullies pull the wool over others’ eyes.

Finally, many who face workplace bullies, whether bosses or employees, assume others will step in to help them. That generally doesn’t happen. Here’s why. First, others may run for cover as it’s not their fight. Second, those who don’t directly experience bullying rarely see or feel what’s going on. When you tell them your views, they may truthfully say. “That’s not the person I know.”  Because they don’t experience bullying themselves, they give the bully the benefit of the doubt.

You have a chance. Write a compelling letter, and individually address it. All you need is to get through to one board member who says, “We need to look into this.”

1 Beating the Workplace Bully https://amzn.to/3msclOW

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy, “We Just Fired Our CEO,” https://bit.ly/3wmqWPT

(c) 2022 Lynne Curry

Subscribing to the blog is easy

If you’d like to get 3 to 5 posts a week delivered to your inbox (and NO spam), just add your email address below. (I’ll never sell it.) I’m glad you’ve joined this vibrant blog. Thank you!

5 thoughts on “When A Toxic Leader Destroys Your Organization: You Have 1 Chance

  1. As a cautionary tactic, the letters should be sent to the board members’ respective home addresses to ensure they aren’t intercepted by the “Bully”.

  2. This is the key: “Because they don’t experience bullying themselves, they give the bully the benefit of the doubt.

    You have a chance. Write a compelling letter, and individually address it. All you need is to get through to one board member who says, “We need to look into this.” ”

    Boards of Directors can be both allies and ignorant rubber-stampers. Let’s hope this person is able to motivate this board to do something positive to take a look at and act on bullying in this workplace.

  3. Letters to board targeting someone in my experience don’t get results, and generally just stir the pot on a problem they already recognize but don’t know how to deal with it. There is a better option for the board that can change the underlying dynamics.

    The board has an important tool in its ability to meet in executive session. Many boards don’t use this on a regular basis so when it’s needed it’s hard to start to use it. It’s a good practice to just do it on a regular basis to discuss issues about the ED performance or org direction affecting HR best discussed confidentially, even if there isn’t a problem. In this case, I wonder if the letter you suggested might make that recommendation to the board, knowing HR isn’t in a good position to step in front of the bus.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.