A New Employee Who Walks Into a Mess Where a Physician Gets Away With Problem Conduct


I’m not sure what I’ve walked into with my new job. I started work in a medical clinic three weeks ago. In the past, I’ve worked in warehouses and for construction companies. I was so excited to land a job in a medical facility because I thought the atmosphere would be more professional. It’s not.

One of the doctors regularly makes inappropriate comments to the employees, often critiquing his wife’s body by comparing her looks to those of patients. He also thinks it’s totally okay to give light shoulder massages to the staff. I have nothing against massages, but the doctor makes comments as he massages like, “You like this? Hmm?” that make me uncomfortable.

I try to tune out his comments, but last week when I was eating my lunch in the breakroom, he came in and started a conversation about how great it is for women to go commando. He said it liberated them and once they’d done it, they’d feel freed. One of the older staff members rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. I left the room.  

 Then, when I went into the breakroom Friday morning to get a cup of coffee, he asked if I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten breakfast and when I admitted I was hungry, he gave me a banana. When I thanked him and took it, he told me he wanted to watch me eat it. He stood there as if he was expecting me to eat the banana as he watched. I felt my face redden, placed the banana on the counter and fled the breakroom.

What do I do? No one else seems to mind this doctor’s antics. Some like the massages and even say “me too” when he’s working on someone else. Am I making too big a deal of this? I’m afraid I’ll lose my job if I say how I feel to the wrong person.


You’re not making too big a deal of this. You’ve described a physician who sexualizes the work environment by placing his hands on employees and making inappropriate comments. The banana incident, for which he set you up, had a sexual subtext. Worse, as a newly hired employee, you fear you’ll lose your job if you protest what’s going on. He’s a poster child for the fact that sexual harassment isn’t only about sex; it’s also about power.      

You have three options.

You can seek out the HR manager and ask for confidentiality and then ask for coaching. By phrasing it as a coaching request, you indicate that you’re not making a complaint, you’re asking how to handle a situation. If the HR manager is on the ball, she’ll realize she has a problem she needs to fix and end this doctor’s pranks.

If she doesn’t investigate and fix this, she allows a high-risk situation that can explode as soon as a patient or employee connects with their state human rights commission or the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). A complaint made to any of those group will likely trigger an investigation. If you’ve accurately reported this situation, any of these agencies will learn that your clinic’s management knew or should have known that they had a sexually inappropriate work environment. That will trigger fines.

If you fear identifying yourself as the whistleblower, you can write an anonymous letter and mail it to the clinic’s chief executive officer or managing physician. Unless they’ve sleeping for the last decade, they’ll realize they have a situation that needs handling.

You can also call me, let me know the name of your clinic and I’ll call your clinic’s chief executive officer. I won’t reveal your identity. I’ll say I’ve heard rumors of continuing sexual harassment involving comments and physical touch on the part of a physician at their clinic.

If any of the above actions place your job at risk, immediately contact the your state’s human rights commission or the EEOC, as you and your job are protected against retaliation when you protest sexual harassment.

Good luck and please let me know how this turns out. Also, you may find useful “Courage is your partner,” chapter 4, in Navigating Conflict, which came out October 10th and already has ten 5-start reviews, https://amzn.to/3rCKoWj.

If you’ve found this post interesting, you might like Emoji Harassment, https://workplacecoachblog.com/2022/03/emoji-harassment-what-you-didnt-know/ ; https://workplacecoachblog.com/2021/01/sexual-harassment-from-a-client/ or https://workplacecoachblog.com/2017/11/8-sex-harassment-myths/

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4 thoughts on “A New Employee Who Walks Into a Mess Where a Physician Gets Away With Problem Conduct

  1. I don’t doubt that the explosion that will result from this one will be heard loudly throughout the medical community; it is pretty close-knit! What has been described here has been prohibited for many years now, as we all should know, but the ‘looseness of it’ persists in many offices.
    I know people who work in the medical community and know that it can get pretty loose, but this is about as egregious as I’ve heard about or witnessed.
    Let’s be honest – it is a shame that people have to ‘fear for their jobs’, and retaliation IS NOT ALLOWED (legally). But it will occur – subtly, eventually. Nobody gets away with pulling the tail on a tiger this big without at least getting scratches – or far worse. Since so much of this stuff is ‘subject to interpretation’ and difficult to clearly and explicitly define and prove, it usually takes making a few attorneys rich to prove much and get results.
    And the double-edged sword of life continues to slash away at things on both sides of the problems.

  2. Re: “Am I making too big a deal of this?”

    Rather unbelievably sad that someone would question their feelings in this obviously toxic situation in this day and age. Not only does this doctor need a reality check, but the employee needs professional help with their self-worth.

    1. Hi, Larry, you’re right, it’s sad, and yet it’s common. Many employees fear losing a job when they encounter a highly placed manager who seems to hold all the cards.

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