“I’m sorry you took it that way.”
An apology? Not even close. The apologizer blames the hurt person for how s/he reacted.
If you’ve ever had someone fake apologize without expressing or remorse or showing that they “got it”
If you’ve ever wanted to apologize but felt your apology fell flat, consider these rules for making an effective apology.
You may need these four rules for the next time you lose your cool, let someone down or otherwise “blow it.”
Alternatively, you may want to hand this post to someone who need to read it.
- Say you’re sorry. Show empathy and remorse. Tell the other person how much you regret what you did and that you know it was wrong. Sincerely mean what you say.
- Admit responsibility. Apologize for what you’ve done. Don’t try to make an excuse, justify your behavior or otherwise shift the blame. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”
- Make amends. It may not be enough to apologize. Do your best to right the situation.
- Promise it won’t happen again. Say you’ll change and explain how you plan to change. Those who apologize as if it gives them a “get out of jail free card” or erases the problem haven’t fully apologized.
The good news? A genuine apology can gain true forgiveness and move a relationship forward in a positive way.
If you liked this short article, you might enjoy Solutionshttps://www.amazon.com/Solutions-Workplace-Revelations-Challenges-Firefights-ebook/dp/B00MWB18LA/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=Lynne+Curry&qid=1613967859&sr=8-7, a collection of 65 of my best magazine and newspaper articles offering strategies for addressing real-life challenges.
Lynne Curry, Ph.D., SPHR, is the author of “Beating the Workplace Bully” (AMACOM, 2016, https://amzn.to/30V5JO6) and “Solutions”, https://amzn.to/2GYlnAN (both books are rated 4.8 out of 5 stars on Amazon.com). Send your questions to her at https://workplacecoachblog.com/ask-a-coach/ or follow her on twitter @lynnecurry10. www.workplacecoachblog.com.
Subscribing to the blog is easy
If you’d like to get 3 to 5 posts a week delivered to your inbox (and NO spam), just add your email address below. (I’ll never sell it.) I’m glad you’ve joined this vibrant blog. Thank you!