One of my 30-something co-workers persists in telling me, “you look just like my mother.”

I’m in my 40’s. There’s no way I could be her mother.

The first two times, I bristled but didn’t say anything.

The third time, I asked her, “How old is your mom?”

“In her 60s. She had me late in life.”

“I’m twenty years younger. Please don’t say that again.”

“Well, it’s a compliment. I miss my mother. And she could pass for 50.” Then she said in a snotty voice, “Me, I don’t ‘see’ age.”

I wanted to strangle her.

Is this my problem? Do I just need to “suck it up?”


She’s clueless. You asked her not to say it again, and she argued. She missed that even if her mom could “pass for 50,” her comment still ages you.

Before you’re pushed to telling her that if she says you remind her of her mother again you’ll spank her, hand her this post so she can see herself in print.

She’s told you three times you look one to two decades older than you are. You’ve tried to ignore her. You’ve asked her to stop. She doesn’t realize she’s being offensive.

But she is.

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2 thoughts on “Clueless Coworker

  1. Thank you, Lynne! Yes. It may also simply be that the case-poser just obviously looks more than a decade older than the clueless millennial, which makes the clueless one nervous. And what was that I hear about millennials liking members of the older generation. Ah well, yes, the person is clueless.

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