After three years of working for a controlling tyrant, I quit.
I got a great new job. I’m afraid I’ll lose it.
It turns out I’m not free from my former boss’s reach. When he learned where I’d landed a job (I’d intentionally hadn’t told him my new employer’s name), he wrote my new boss a scathing email about me. He told her she made a terrible mistake that she’d regret by hiring me.
I learned this when she said she needed to ask me about several accusations he’d made. She said she’d served with my former boss on a nonprofit board, knew he was pretty “tough,” but they’d gotten along fine. She interviewed me, looked serious, and then told me she’d let me prove myself, I was shaking.
Apparently, they served together on a nonprofit Board.
Now, whenever my boss asks me if I’ve completed a project, I say “yes,” even if I haven’t even started it. I keep thinking she’ll decide she made a hiring mistake. She’s told me several times I need to stop being defensive, she’s just asking me questions, but that’s easier said than done. I need help.
Individuals who work in problem situations for extended periods of time carry baggage with them to future jobs. Your former boss compounded this problem when he reached into your current job with allegations.
We all need to prove ourselves. Sometimes, the people we meet, potential friends, lovers, coworkers, bosses, give us the benefit of the doubt from the beginning. With others, we need to earn their trust. Your new boss told you she’d give you a chance to prove yourself.
Stop giving your former boss current power. It’s as if he lobbed a round steel ball covered with spikes into the window of your new job. You’ve picked up that heavy ball and are jabbing its spikes into your chest every time you think of what he’s done and what he’s said.
How do you drop this baggage?
You drop it.
Force yourself to remember, “that was then, this is now.”
Subscribing to the blog is easy
If you’d like to get 3 to 5 posts a week delivered to your inbox (and NO spam), just add your email address below. (I’ll never sell it.) I’m glad you’ve joined this vibrant blog. Thank you!