“It wasn’t my fault,” he said. “I blew up because I had had a horrible day.”
When you lose your temper or behave badly in other ways, it can be easy to rationalize your behavior or pin responsibility for your reaction on the other person.
Except when you do, you hide from the truth. You said what you said. You did what you did.
When you own the part you play in initiating, maintaining, or aggravating an unresolved or escalating conflict, you increase your chances to successfully resolve it.
Why? If you admit your responsibility, you can fix it. When you instead blame the other person, you turn responsibility for changing the situation to them.
Consider the difference:
“I did it” versus “you made me do it.”
“I don’t like sarcasm” versus “you’re too sarcastic.”
“I was angry” versus “you made me angry.”
Which is stronger? Which is more powerful?
Claim your power. Own the part you play. Once you do, you can fix your part.
Then, the other party may do so as well. A win/win.. If not, s/he plays a negative game you no longer play.
Subscribing to the blog is easy
If you’d like to get 3 to 5 posts a week delivered to your inbox (and NO spam), just add your email address below. (I’ll never sell it.) I’m glad you’ve joined this vibrant blog. Thank you!