Which one sentence pitch for the novel do you like better?
- Jess turns her back on romance, but when a perfect man tempts her, she falls hard until she realizes he’s a dating-site scammer and she becomes the huntress.
- Jess turns her back on romance, but when a perfect man tempts her, she falls for the future he promises until she realizes he’s a dating-site scammer and she becomes the huntress.
Do you have any tweaks/edits to suggest? What do you like about either?
Here’s the pitch paragraph; what are your thoughts?
Human Resources manager Jess Cassidy, recovering from the death of her fiancé and carrying the baggage of a prior bad marriage, buries herself in work—handling workplace bullying and supporting employees battling cancer and domestic violence. After her best friend urges her to post her profile on an Internet dating site, Jess finds herself targeted by a dating site scam artist. Using all her HR skills, Jess turns the tables and becomes the huntress.
My writing assistants and I thank you for your thoughts:)
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