The promotion you thought yours, isn’t.
Your doctor schedules you for a biopsy, given a suspicious mammogram.
Two people make snarky comments about your project in a staff meeting. Because there are two of them and they’re convincing, they influence your boss and others around the table.
The guy you’d thought was “the one”, pulls away.
You feel shell-shocked. Flattened. Knocked off your feet. You want to crawl into a hole, preferably with a large carton of very good ice cream.
Can you get your mojo back? Feel joy?
Here’s how:
The truth sets you free
Accepting what happened frees you to move forward. Perhaps you made a mistake. Or someone thought less of you than you thought of him. It may be time to revise your well-laid plans to deal with a cancer diagnosis. Or you need to regroup and tune yourself up before you try again to land a coveted job opportunity.
Own what’s true. Move forward with eyes open.
Dig deep
Every solution begins within you.
Regardless of what happened, you can this set back and challenge by growing the skills you need. Starting from where you are means digging deep inside yourself to where your sense of resolve and willingness to take on whatever comes lives.
Hush the voices
Don’t let your own or other’s negativity undermine you, telling you who you are or what you can do.
Consider how a brave person would handle what has happened to you and become that brave person.
Push through the boundaries of your comfort zone. Find the courage to express what you want to say.
Don’t let another person or your past define you. When you step forward, you’re not powerless, letting events happen to you.
Put what happened in context
Revisit what happened or didn’t go right and consider what you learned to help you become a stronger, better person. What will you do differently next time? Criticism from you or others becomes an opportunity to learn.
No failure defines you or your future. It’s not over when you fail, it’s over when you stop trying.
© 2020, Lynne Curry
Lynne Curry, Ph.D., SPHR, is the author of “Beating the Workplace Bully” (AMACOM, 2016, https://amzn.to/30V5JO6) and “Solutions”, https://amzn.to/2GYlnAN (both books are rated 4.8 out of 5 stars on Amazon.com). Send your questions to her at https://workplacecoachblog.com/ask-a-coach/ or follow her on twitter @lynnecurry10. www.workplacecoachblog.com.
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Good suggestions for both inside and outside the workplace, Lynne. Thank you!
Don’t let others define you. Change your attitude and work on moving forward. Great advice–and sometimes easier to hear than to follow, but we must not give up the good fight, so we do not become our own worst enemies. Thanks for this.
Suz, agreed, and as always thanks for your insightful comments. Love the line about not becoming our own worst enemies.