If You’re Cyber-bullied, Here’s What To Do

It happened

You thought it only happened in the movies or bad spy novels. Now, it’s happened to you. Unknown individuals have swamped your Twitter and Facebook accounts and your email inbox with hateful postings. Everyone you know has been inundated with believable half-truths hinting at scandals in your past. Some believe what they’ve heard or say, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

You’ve been cyberbullied.

Here’s what to do

If a high-tech lynch mob hacks your reputation, consider these steps.

No impulsive actions

Don’t let yourself respond in the heat of the moment.

If you impulsively delete hateful posts, you waste evidence you’ll need to track down the cyberbullies.

If you lash out at those who send the posts, you feed their egos and may spur them to create an infinite multitude of dummy accounts and post increasingly worse content.

Instead, plan your counterattack.

Collect, trace, and use evidence

Cyberbullies think their pseudonyms and usernames can permanently and completely conceal their identities, allowing them to voice inflammatory opinions without worry. If they go too far and provoke counterattacks, they believe they can press reset and simply not log in again under those usernames and pseudonyms.

The truth? Like banana slugs, cyberbullies leave behind them a trail of slime.

If cyberbullies haunt you on social media, print and save the posts as evidence. Provide their hateful posts to Internet service providers who can trace and take action against them for violating their abuse policy. Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram all have online mechanisms for reporting abusive content.

Once you’ve called in the cavalry against your bullies, use the service providers’ applications to block these bullies. If they, like whack-a-moles, reappear, they give you more chances to trace them.

Cell phone tracing

If you receive threatening messages on your cellphone via text messaging, you can trace the phone number through a reverse look up directory or by searching for the phone number on Google.

Save and print the texts and report the harassment to the mobile phone provider and police. Cyberbullies who threaten your life step over the line into illegal activity.

Cyber-stalking injunction

If you suspect a specific individual of cyberbullying, ask a computer security specialist to track the bully via their Internet Protocol address. Then, file a civil action. Your attorney can use a civil subpoena to obtain the bully’s IP address login record.

If a co-worker cyberbully foolishly uses his employer’s technology to go after you, your employer’s IT manager can help you collect evidence.

If you obtain evidence showing the bully has used electronic communication to cause you substantial emotional distress through defamatory content, you may win a non-molestation order or cyberstalking injunction. Judge-granted ex parte cyberstalking injunctions start immediately, and final injunctions last forever.

Tackle the perception battle

Although you may want to run and hide, don’t let cyberbullies shame you into isolation.

Connect with your friends and co-workers. Ask them to participate in a counterattack, by blocking online aggressors, reporting hurtful messages to moderators, and creating posts supporting you.

Launch a counterattack.

Ask your employer for help

According to a recent survey, 48 percent of employers allow employees to access social media for personal use on employer-provided computers at work. This creates potential liability for employers; ask them to help you.

Close the door

Finally, stop the cyberbully’s attacks from reaching you by canceling all social media and personal email accounts.

At work, your company’s IT provider can show you how to permanently filter out unwanted messages. When you open new accounts, install security measures blocking the cyberbully’s emails.

© 2020, Lynne Curry

Lynne Curry Ph.D., SPHR, is the author of “Beating the Workplace Bully” (AMACOM, 2016, https://amzn.to/30V5JO6) and “Solutions”, https://amzn.to/2GYlnAN (both books are rated 4.8 out of 5 stars on Amazon.com). Send your questions to her at lynnewriter10@gmail.com, visit her @ www.communicationworks.net or follow her on twitter @lynnecurry10.

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